Umar Farouk Abdul Mutallab, why?

By Waheed Odusile

Americans are very poor when it comes to international affairs. Prior to his becoming United States president, George W Bush reportedly couldn’t differentiate between Nigeria as a country and Africa as a continent. He had only ventured out of his country about three or so times before he arrived at the White House.

His indifference to what is happening elsewhere in the world is to a large extent shared by majority of Americans who see everything America as representing the world. Hence it is not out of place to hear Americans describe their baseball competition as World Series, whereas outside the US, it is only popular in Japan. Their WWF wrestling championship is competed mostly by some ruffians in America, yet they crown the winner as world champion. The list is endless, but the event of 11th September 2001 changed all this, and it can now be safely said that Americans, at least their leaders, now have a full grasp of international affairs, as well as events elsewhere in the world.No thanks to the suicide bombing of America by a terrorist organization called al-Qaeda, led by a Saudi Arabia citizen, Osama bin Laden, in what is now known as 9/11 attacks, Americans were rudely and fatally reminded that the world is awash with enemies of humanity who will stop at nothing to bring the free world, especially America, to its knees. The destructions of that day and the attendant loss of innocent souls drew global attention to the world of terrorism and what the US is doing to protect itself. Every action of the American administration in this regards attracted the attention and engaged the interest of all, both friends and enemies.
Like the rest of the free world, Nigerians mourned with Americans over 9/11, we felt their pains and prayed for the repose of the souls of the dead. Most importantly, we were outraged that a so called religious organization could do that to humanity and yet claim to be serving God. When the names of the perpetrators and their collaborators were released, we were relieved that no single Nigerian was involved in spite of the bad image a few of our fellow citizens have acquired for the country in recent years. Because of the average Nigerian love for life, we were and still convinced that no Nigerian would be involved in suicide bombing, not for any cause, no matter how passionate the person is towards the cause.
December 25, 2009 has proved us wrong. A certain 23-year old Nigerian named Umar Farouk; son of wealthy former banker, Umar Mutallab has proved to the whole world that whatever the nationals of any other country can do Nigerians can equally do it. By now, I am sure you all know what he did. His attempt to detonate an explosive inside flight 253 conveying him and about 300 others from Amsterdam in Holland to Detroit in the US on Christmas day, has now put Nigeria firmly in the league of terrorist producing nation. Whenever and wherever terrorism or terrorist is mentioned, the country Nigeria, will also come to mind. Who ever has no heard of Nigeria before now or like former President Bush doesn’t know her status, will now know it is a country of 150 million or so people in the west of the continent called Africa. Unfortunately he or she would probably not have an independent assessment of who Nigerians really are, as the information being given out, especially by the major foreign news channel would now be tainted by the Umar Farouk episode. He or she would probably not know and may never know that majority of Nigerians, about 99 per cent, are not like Umar Farouk; that even where and when we are passionate about anything, we still have respect for human lives; that aside from our bad leaders and a few fraudsters/419ners, we are a good, hard working, honest, friendly and godly people. He or she would probably not know the real Nigerian. But if the person doesn’t know that Nigerian that you and I are, don’t blame him or her, Umar Farouk has brought that upon us. Now every green passport carrier would be viewed with suspicion in every airport in the world. Fellow passengers will henceforth keep an extra eye on every Nigerian passenger on international flights. Getting a visa to another country, especially in the west will become more difficult now for the rest of us.
As a nation, attracting the much needed foreign investment into our economy might become a Herculean task. For a country just trying to repair her battered image and reputation in the international community or re-branding as Information Minister Dora Akunyili, would rather call it, Umar Farouk is disaster, a major setback..How did we get to this stage? It is tempting to want to blame the Nigerian government at all levels, our security agencies and even Umar’s parents alone, for the shame he has brought upon us all. Yes, you may be right, but we all share in this blame. Let us start with the parents.
While it is commendable that the older Umar Mutallab, had reported his suspicion about the religious extremist belief of his son to security agents in Abuja including the American embassy in Nigeria, before last Friday’s failed terrorist incident, there was still a failure in parenting on his part. From all accounts of Farouk’s educational/moral training, the father, like most educated Nigerian parents, had abdicated his parental responsibility, especially his moral and religious upbringing to his teacher in school, probably thinking that with money, a good school should be able to produce a good child both in learning and character. Most of us, the so called elite tend to think like that, but it is wrong. Farouk, since his secondary school days in Lome, Togo has reportedly been espousing some dangerous religious beliefs. The father would have known this unless he was not observant enough or chose not to bother, thinking that with time the boy would change. The boy didn’t change and that’s why we are where we are today. Before he dispatched him to university in the UK, what did the father do to rein in his son? It is easier said than done, yes, but as parents we can’t and shouldn’t give up, we owe it to the society to train our children well to be good members of the society in future because of a day like last Friday when we will either beat our chest to say yes, that is my child or cover our face in shame.
There is also a huge failure on the part of our various governments. The environment here is very, very conducive for the germination of al-Qaeda type religious belief in Nigeria. We have witnessed several violent religious crises in the country in the past, especially in the north involving some extremist groups claiming to be Muslims whereas their utterances and actions were at variance with the holy Qur’an and the teaching of the Prophet, (PBOH) yet successive governments have been treating them with kid gloves, in spite of the mayhem they have been unleashing on the society. Its about time government at all levels act to check this dangerous trend lest we go the way of Pakistan, because the problem Pakistan has with extremist Islam today began this way.

Granted the fact that security has improved considerably at Lagos airport but since Farouk started his journey in Lagos undected, a lot still needs to be done, especially in anti terrorism strategy. Thank God Farouk’s explosive didn’t go off so the whole world has been saved from another 9/11



But why did he do it? Why did he bring his parents and Nigeria to shame?

Umar Abdul-Mutallab: Case of failed parenting?

The news that a 23-year-old Nigerian, Umar Farouk Abdul-Mutallab, had attempted to blow up an American airline on a flight from Amsterdam to Detroit has been reverberating round the world and sending shock waves down the spines of Nigerians, both home and abroad. As more details have emerged about what has now been identified as an attempted terrorist attack intended as a Christmas present for America and masterminded by Al Qaeda, many Nigerians have wondering about the incident. Firstly, what could have happened to Abdul-Mutallab, the son of a wealthy Nigerian banker and former chairman of First Bank plc who has had the best of Western education and untold access to luxury, that he ended up befriending terrorists and Al Qaeda for that matter? Secondly, looking at pictures of the bomb that Abdul-Mutallab managed to sneak through security checks at airports in Lagos and Amsterdam, how could he have felt knowing the bulk parts of the bomb were concealed in his most vital parts, i.e. in his underwear? Thirdly, while Abdul-Mutallab' father was wondering about the whereabouts of his son and reporting to the authorities that the latter had become extremist in his religious views and could be keeping wrong company, the young man was in Yemen learning how to blow up a plane in which he would be flying. However, when we put the issues raised above in a proper context, we are left with the conclusion that Abdul-Mutallab is a victim of failed parenting as well; although this does not in any way justify the acts of terrorism he attempted to execute on Christmas day. Abdul-Mutallab was sent by his father to boarding school at the British International School, Lome, Togo at a tender age, and from there to a top London university to read Engineering, where he appeared to be largely on his own. Emails emanating from him paint the picture of a lonely young man searching for answers and relationships that would have helped him make sense of a complex world and make key decisions for someone of his age. Unfortunately, though, the required guidance was not forthcoming and he ended up being radicalised in his religious beliefs, and for relationships chose the most dreaded terrorist organisation in the world, i.e. Al Qaeda, rather than the loving embrace of his parents and siblings. We can also view in similar light the case of the son of Professor Adediran, whose trial on a rape charge in the US resulted in the American government rejecting his father's appointment by President Umaru Yar'Adua as the Nigerian ambassadorial designate. Among Nigerian elites, the norm is that their children have to be trained in the best institutions anywhere else but in Nigeria, and preferably from primary to university levels - forgetting that the responsibility of imparting the right principles and values in children lies with the parents. These Nigerian elites spend billions of Naira paying school fees, on flight tickets, allowances for upkeep and houses overseas for their pampered children to stay in while schooling; but will do nothing to inculcate in their children the right principles and values as they are absent most of the time. These are the same children the Nigerian elites eventually want to come back to Nigeria to take up the best jobs in the public and private sectors, and ultimately to continue rulership; leaving the nation worse off in the hands of those with no moral compass in their hearts. A simple act on the part of the Nigerian government that would sanitise the public education sector and drastically reduce corruption in the public sector would be a policy requiring children of public officeholders to attend public schools in Nigeria. More importantly, such a policy would ensure that these Nigerian elites are available to teach their children the right principles and values, so that the latter do not end up in the warm embrace of terrorists or in jails overseas, thereby embarrassing their parents and the nation

My Singing Girl!

She stands on the threshold of room that morning;singing with a lovely voice,passes the message to her caring Dad.'' i want to visit Helen this evening Dad.....! Oh! you mean your lovely pal? 'only on one condition baby'. I said. 'sing to me a new song, put up a lovely lucky smile!... my black beauty... you stole you mother's BE.....TY. How do you feel when you have a promising and vibrant daughter?

Inculcating Discipline On Our Children

* Ideal parents should state limitations and commands vividly and concisely. As ideal parents, we cannot flip-flop when children try to bargain or negotiate - and they will. Children will test us to see if we will give in to their persuasive pleas (no matter their age). *Ideal parents should deliver their instructions calmly, yet steadfastly, not as a quivering request. It is more effective to say, "Do not go into the street. Stay in our yard," instead of "Mommy doesn't want you to leave the yard, ok?" Children must know when parents are serious. *Our authority must be clearly, consistently established. Use only the necessary words, and teach your children to develop eye contact and listening skills. Show, by example, that you listen to them as you expect them to listen. *Remember to make rewards and disciplinary consequences not only age appropriate, but also task appropriate. Don't over-punish minor misbehaviors. *Teach your child that all actions bring consequences. Encourage them when they make good choices. They need to know the benefits of obeying and making good choices, as well as the negative consequences for disobedience. *State directives/results and follow through; don't issue idle threats. Give predictable consequences, such as, "If you behave in this way, this will happen." *Teach them good and moral behaviors by displaying your own good and moral behaviors. Go to church as a family. Plan healthy family activities that promote good morals and "together" time. You will soon see your child mirror your values and morals. Child discipline and training does not occur in a vacuum. Their behaviors are formed within the context of what they witness in their primary teachers.

Mothers Of Children With Autism Have Higher Parental Stress, Psychological Distress

Ask any mother and she'll tell you that raising a preschooler is no easy task. Now imagine what it must be like to bring up a child with autism or a developmental delay. Researchers at the University of Washington's Autism Center asked mothers about their experiences and found that moms of children with autism had higher levels of parenting-related stress and psychological distress than mothers of children with developmental delay. Children's problem behavior was associated with increases in both parenting-related stress and distress in both groups, but this relationship was stronger in mothers of children with autism. "Both groups of women are dealing with children who need high levels of care-giving. But there is something about autism that is making a difference and adding stress and psychological distress to these mothers," said Annette Estes, lead author of a new study and associate director of the UW Autism Center. Surprisingly, the research also found no link between a child's decreased daily living skills and increased parental stress and psychological distress. "This finding was counterintuitive," said Estes, who is also a research assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences. "If a child has more needs in getting dressed and in other daily living skills, that means the parents are working harder and seemingly would be under stress. But it is not the hard work that is stressing the mothers. Our findings really pointed to the behavior problems that can occur with autism. Children with autism had significantly higher levels of problem behaviors than children with developmental delay." These behavior problems included such things as irritability, agitation, crying, inappropriate speech and not being able to follow rules. For this study parental stress was defined as being the stress directly related to a person's role as a parent and parenting a child with a disability. Psychological distress is more general stress, such as that experienced by a person who is nervous about her job or life in general but may or may not be confident about her parenting. The study included 73 mothers and their children – 51 of the youngsters had an autism spectrum disorder and 22 had developmental delays. The families were part of a larger study exploring the neurobiology and developmental course of autism. The children in the stress study were predominantly male, white and about 3½ years old when data was collected. Parents filled out a number of detailed surveys that measured parenting stress, psychological distress, problem behaviors and adaptive functioning level. The last charted a child's daily living skills in such areas as dressing, feeding, using the toilet, bathing and helping with household chores. The study, Estes said, looked at psychological stress, not psychiatric disorders in mothers. "We were not diagnosing disorders and our sample of parents likely did not include the most distressed parents, those who did not have the resources to take the time to participate in a research study or those who were probably too busy and stressed raising a disabled child to participate. She noted that problem behavior needs to be a crucial target in treating children with autism and developmental delay. "We need to focus on it because it appears to have the potential to disrupt the family, parenting and the child. While problem behavior is not a core element of autism, it might rise to the top of the issues that have to be dealt with first in a clinical setting," Estes said. "Help in what we call family adaptive functioning is what we need to figure out in these cases. How to help families is important because high levels of stress and psychological distress can interfere with early identification of autism and interventions which are delivered by parents. There's another good reason to do this: Parents who feel supported can better support their children." The paper has been published in the online edition of the journal Autism and the research was funded by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. Co-authors are Jeffrey Munson, an assistant research professor in the UW Autism Center; Geraldine Dawson, a UW emeritus professor of psychology who is now the chief science officer of Autism Speaks; Elizabeth Koehler, a former UW biostatistics graduate student; and Xiao-Hua Zhou and Robert Abbott, UW professors of biostatistics and educational psychology, respectively. parents who have this problems should should share their experience below~

WAYWARDNESS IN CHILDREN: RESTORING CONFIDENCE IN YOUR CHILD

Parents should note that one of the major reasons that culminate in waywardness among children is owing to lost of confidence. Apart from other physiological and psychological factors, succinctly, a child who is not focused in life, may be, out of parental fault, is very susceptible to gross waywardness. In this respect, children between 15-25 (young youths) years need more of this attention, with a view to restoring confidence in them; the following tips must be brought to bear in parenting feats: 1. Let your child discover his or her worth: Despite foregoing behavioral and moral decadence in a particular child, parents should help him or her discover his or her worth. Parents should let them know that dignity is innate and unchangeable. It will surely form a spring board to his or her holistic development. 2. Your child is not alone: Actually, efforts of parents in the course of parenting are all about standing by their child. Your child can be socially appreciating the presence of others, his or her parents,siblings etc., but physiologically lonely. Parents should perceive and discern their child's feelings by creating logistics and freedom for their child's to expression of feeling. 3. Don’t compare your child with others: Bringing the above to bear culminates in inferiority complex among children. Breed your child to concentrate on his or her ability. Instead of avalanche of comparison especially during castigation, you set the object of comparison as a model for your child but not as a yardstick. This will enable the latent skills in your child develop. 4. Help your child to establish genuine friendships:

Let your child discover that the best way of having a good friend is being a good friend. Your role as a parent is not only to monitor the type of friends your child keeps but strategically, the impact of your child has in that friendship. Good friendship which your child has a great stake, contributes to polishing him or her with courageousness. 5. Let your child understand his family value:

Parents, a child who does not know the worth of his or her family; his fundamental education base, is very susceptible to lost confidence and moral degradation. Parents should monitor whether their children defend the values they teach them within the family outside the family circle. Is your child proud of his or her family background? If not, the step to waywardness has begun. 6. Redefine your communication link with your child. Your child must be your best friend, if not, you may be trying to enhance the chances for waywardness in your child. Staying in touch with your child enables your child to withstand the adverse pressure of peer group. Let your child be inquisitive and ask questions; through this, you will relate and solve certain developments that may lead to waywardness. Prove to him or her that you can never hate him or her. 7. Renew your attention toward your child's prayer life and spiritual growth: This is the summit of steps you must take to revive your child’s confidence. Let your child discover that God is the most important item in his or her life, followed by his or her parents, siblings, friends, education and his profession. This sequence of understanding in a child will develop your child adequately as he or she grows to meet stronger challenges.

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS OF VIOLENT MEDIA ON CHILDREN

-Aimee Tompkins

Abstract .

Recent research has shown that connections between children playing violent video games can cause later aggressive behavioral problems. In retrospect studies have also shown a twelve percent increase in aggressive behavior after watching violent television as well. Some parents and psychologists have said that there are children who benefit from the proficiency and coordination of playing video games while others disagree. Critics of video games claim that watching violent television is less detrimental due to the children not physically playing out the violence. Research has also shown heavy viewers, which is four or more hours a day, put in less effort at school, have poorer reading skills, play less friendly with friends, have fewer hobbies and activities, and are more likely to be overweight. The American Psychological Association says there are three major effects of watching violence in the media (i.e.: video games/television) children may become less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others, children may be more fearful of the world around them, and children may be more likely to behave in aggressive or hurtful ways toward others. The Psychological Effects of Violent Media on Children. Everything that children see or hear in the media early on in their lives affects them in some way. Positive parenting role models indicate that in the best interest of our children we should limit their exposure to violent acts. Unfortunately, violence is one of the most popular forms of entertainment. Over sixty percent of television shows being shown in prime time contain some form of violence. There are two very opposite sides of this issue. The media who market the violent television, video games and other forms of entertainment argue this is safe entertainment and the others argue that violence promotes violence Current research tends to agree with the proponents who argue that violent media is associated with aggressive behavior. Risky behavior by children and young adults can include violence against others, lack of remorse for consequences. The type of faulty thinking creates stressors in children which can lead to the onset of many different symptoms. Children who view media violence are more likely to have increased feelings of hostility, decreased emotional response to the portrayal of violence and injury that lead to violent behavior through imitation. An example here would be the television show Jack Ass. There have been several accidents related to young men attempting stunts that are done on the show. The act of imitating what they have seen on a television show causes injury to themselves or others around them. The Academy of Pediatrics says “More than one thousand scientific studies and reviews conclude that significant exposure to media violence increases the risk of aggressive behavior in certain children, desensitizes them to violence and makes them believe that the world is a ‘meaner and scarier’ place than it is.” If children begin to think that this type of violence is normal behavior these thoughts are often said to be difficult to change later on in life. This is similar to the studies of domestic violence where children who are exposed to violence either become offenders or victims because they believe that what they are exposed to is the norm. One instance that brought the worry of violence in media is the Columbine incident. The two young men that committed this act of violence were said to have played numerous hours of violent video games. Their exposure to violence is said to have been the cause since the children involved in Columbine came from secure home environments with active parental influence. As with Michael Carneal, from Kentucky, who in 1997 shot and killed three of his classmates. He too was also said to have been a video game fanatic. Michael Breen an attorney in the case against Michael Carneal stated in court; “Michael Carneal clipped off nine shots in a 10-second period. Eight of those shots were hits. Three were head and neck shots and were kills. That is way beyond the military standard for expert marksmanship. This was a kid who had never fired a pistol in his life, but because of his obsession with computer games he had turned himself into an expert marksman” (Ivory, 2003), (Hanson, 1999, p. 15). These two instances in a whole may be small evidence however, proves that violent media play a role in such violence. Another view from researchers suggests that performing violent acts in video games may be more contributing to children's aggression than passively watching violent acts on television. According to this view, the more children practice violent acts, the more likely they are to perform violent acts (Cesarone, 1994). In most video games women are usually portrayed as persons who are acted upon rather than as initiators of action, in the extreme they are depicted as victims. Games such as, Grand Theft Auto promote prostitution, theft, and violent behavior. This game encourages males to act out these behaviors to move further along in the game. The movie the Matrix for example was said to be the triggering factor to the violent high school students that wore trench coats. They were eventually arrested for trying to play out their role as “The One.” Research has found that males play video games more often than women which may be the producing factor of such violence in video games. It is believed that acting out such violence as opposed to just viewing the violence causes the children to become more familiar with how to act out violence without consequences. On the other hand the makers of these violent types of media such as movies, video games and television argue that violent children are drawn towards these types of violent entertainment. These people believe that the child must have been exposed to more than just programming in order to exhibit behaviors that they may have seen on television or in the media. Some will argue though that the real effect is so small that in fact one hypothesis suggests that exposure to violent media can actually provide a healthy release for the frightening emotions of children and young adults. At the age children begin to play video games they have not quite developed the ability to distinguish between what is reality and what its not. This can cause young children to act upon the violence they have viewed on television, video games and such, not knowing that what they are doing is wrong or inappropriate. Unfortunately violent situations are all too common in everyday entertainment and there are far less programming choices that are non-violent than there are violent. The National Coalition on Television Violence reported there has been a consistent increase in the number of violent themed video games. These games increased from fifty three percent in 1985 to eighty two percent in1988 (Cesarone, 1994). The agreement amongst researchers on television violence is that there is a significant increase from 3% to 15% in individuals' aggressive behavior after watching violent television (Cesarone, 1994). Even if the choices did exist the research has proven parents actually have no clue as to what their children watch on television. Parents need to be attentive to the content these games have and question whether they are appropriate for the age of their child. Parents should also monitor the amount of time their children spend playing video games. For instance a co-workers eight year old child said to me “I watched an ‘R’ rated movie one time because there were not any parents around.” In one multicultural study that was completed, found that in six different nations young Americans had the least amount of work responsibility assigned to them. This leads to an excess number of manufactured video games and store bought materials to entertain them. Rather than being forced to go outside to participate in activities they are encouraged to stay inside and watch television or play video games alone. Together these two factors contribute to video game over usage. A study conducted in 1989, on video game usage and content found that most of the arcade games contained “antisocial values of a violent nature” (Ivory, 2001). The only part of the issue that researchers do agree about is that violent media types are not the only cause of children committing violent acts. The involvement of parents in what their children watch, how the family interacts with each other, what the children are exposed to in their environment are also indicators of how they will behave and what value system they will follow. In 1995 one research revealed that both impulsive and reflective young adults showed increased amounts of violent aggression towards play objects after playing violent and non-violent video games. However, in a contradictory study it was found that there was not a difference between children that were exposed to violent media and those who were exposed to non-violent media. The catharsis theory disputes the claim that violent video game content encourages aggression (Ivory, 2001). This theory suggests that the emotional drive evoked by violent video game play reduces the chance of a child actually exhibiting violent behavior; the child’s fantasy play and imagined actions causes the child to have reduced urges to act out aggression in actual behavior (Ivory, 2001). Whatever you believe, the US surgeon generals report only suggests possible short term effects. There is no strong evidence on the long term effects of media violence. The fact is that research is stronger towards media violence being a precursor to increased aggression in children and young adults. This fact alone should be enough for parents to become more involved in what their children are exposed to. According to Wartella and Reeves, “Our review found a progression from early attention to studies of media use to increasing emphasis on issues of physical and emotional harm, and changes in children’s knowledge, attitudes, and behaviors” (Ivory, 2001). There are some responsible companies who are taking steps to inform parents about the content of the entertainment. Cartridge locks were developed by one company in 1990 to prevent unsupervised access to video games. Several companies have developed their own rating system for violence to help parents monitor their child’s free time. X-Unfit and XV (highly violent), PG and G ratings are the ratings from The National Coalition on Television Violence to rate video game violence. With hopes that other video game makers will follow Sega has developed their own rating system which include general, mature, and adult audience. As for Nintendo they use the general rating that is used for movies; G, PG, PG-13 and R rated. The only problem with these ratings are that some parents are not aware of them and stores still sell these games to children that are not old enough to be purchasing them. However, this is a helpful guide for parents that do monitor there child’s form of entertainment. In conclusion, not one research conducted could prove either positive or negative long term outcomes of violent media. The fact of the matter is that parents should monitor and be more attentive to their children. In the act of a busy life we all tend to forget the real life issues. Parents need to pay more attention to their children’s lives and not sit them in front of the television, weather it is for movies, video games, or general television shows. In my opinion in this day and age most parents get too wrapped up in their own lives to be overly concerned about what their children are doing. Raising a child is hard enough in this day and age but you add all the outside media violence and it makes it ten times harder to steer your child in the right direction. Does that really mean violent media causes children to be violent? I don’t believe so these children get bored and should be limited to the types of media entertainment they are exposed to. All we can do as parents is pay attention to our children and stay involved in their lives before it is too late.